He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Randomize
