Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
that is very illegal...i love you.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize