I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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