shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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