Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize
