Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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