ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
