come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
