i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
