glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
