Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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