mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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