she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I'm jealous of your bromance
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
