he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
