Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
He felt like a one man threesome
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
We're not piercing ourselves today.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
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