Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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