party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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