i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Randomize
