Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
