Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
She's the barista slut.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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