Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Every concussion has its silver lining
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
