I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
