My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
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