Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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