you have to choose: penises or morals?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
