good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
