somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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