forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Pooping to opera.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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