does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
