i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
3 2 1 whiskey
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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