i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
If its not for food we ain't going out.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
