i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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