Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
