Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
MIDGETS
????
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
