lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
she pinky promised me she was 18
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
