i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
im holly from the hills drunk
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
