Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Randomize