I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
