im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
