just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
