When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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