How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize