Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize