Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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