do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
So much Jack, so little girl.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
