Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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