I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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