Will you blow on my dice?
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
