She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Who did Billy Mays play for?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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