I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
