so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
