If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
