real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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