Sry I called you an 8
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
