Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.

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(198): View more from

im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now

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(480): View more from Arizona

he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is

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(712): View more from Iowa

slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident

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(819): View more from Quebec

I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.

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(812): View more from Indiana

This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock

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(773): View more from Illinois

Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.

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(512): View more from Texas

I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.

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