yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
