weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
We are two peas in an std pod
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
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