there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
So much Jack, so little girl.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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