Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
