my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
