he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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