If that was your dad, he is hot
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
