I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
